Read the latest posts from chi.st.
from [ 1312-STEP ]
Photo of 2 minizines with covers featuring a white version of the website background (a hillside on fire by the mountains). The front cover says: 1312-STEP: a mad manifesto of insurrectionist care. The back cover says: access the e/mail-based recovery group at CHI.ST/1312-STEP.
Available here to read and print.
from 9v7o2jyg6uww
In the field, the most common point of failure for any electronic device isn't usually the PCB or the silicon—it is the interface where the cable meets the connector. Whether it is a handheld diagnostic tool subject to constant plugging/unplugging or an industrial sensor vibrating in a chassis, mechanical stress eventually migrates to the solder joints or crimp terminals.
Preventing these failures requires a shift in mindset: you aren't just connecting wires; you are managing mechanical forces. Here is a practical engineering approach to implementing strain relief that ensures long-term cable harness reliability.
Strain relief is designed to move the “bend radius” away from the termination point. When a cable is pulled or flexed, the stress concentrates at the point of highest rigidity—typically the solder joint or the crimp. Without relief, this leads to work-hardening of the copper strands, resulting in intermittent signals or a complete open circuit.
To mitigate this, the goal is to distribute the mechanical load across a larger surface area of the cable jacket rather than the internal conductors.
Depending on your budget, volume, and environment, different techniques offer varying levels of protection.
For prototypes or low-volume industrial builds, mechanical anchoring is the fastest implementation. * Cable Ties and P-Clips: Use these to secure the cable to the chassis. The critical rule is the “service loop”: leave a small amount of slack between the anchor point and the connector. If the cable is pulled tight against the anchor, you've simply moved the stress point further down the line. * Adhesive Collets: Useful for internal routing where weight is a concern, though they are prone to degradation under high heat.
When moving toward a commercial product, integrated solutions are necessary. * Adhesive-Lined Heat Shrink: Standard polyolefin shrink provides some support, but dual-wall, adhesive-lined tubing creates a rigid transition zone. This prevents the cable from bending at a sharp 90-degree angle at the connector exit. * Epoxy Potting: In high-vibration environments, filling the backshell of a connector with a structural epoxy locks the conductors in place. This is a gold standard for aerospace and heavy machinery.
For high-volume consumer or medical electronics, a custom molded TPU (Thermoplastic Polyurethane) boot is the most professional solution. These boots are engineered with a graduated stiffness—firm at the connector end and flexible at the cable end—to ensure the bend radius never exceeds the manufacturer's specifications.
If you are currently designing a hardware product, follow this workflow to ensure your cable assembly doesn't fail in the field:
Designing the relief is only half the battle; executing it consistently across 10,000 units requires precision. Many startups make the mistake of sourcing generic cables and attempting to “hack” strain relief with zip ties. Instead, partnering with a custom cable assembly manufacturer allows you to integrate overmolding and precision crimping directly into the production flow.
This integration reduces the Bill of Materials (BOM) and eliminates the manual labor associated with adding secondary supports during final assembly.
Before finalizing your design, ask three questions: * Where does the cable go if it is pulled with 5kg of force? * Is the bend radius constrained by the enclosure wall? * Does the material of the strain relief degrade in the operating temperature of the environment?
By addressing these mechanical realities early in the design phase, you move from “hoping” the cable lasts to “knowing” it will.
from 9v7o2jyg6uww
Field notes from the workbench this week. I spent most of the afternoon squaring up a jig so repeat cuts land in the same place every time, which saved more effort than any single clever trick. Small tolerances add up: a fraction of a millimetre off at the start becomes a visible gap by the end. I keep a running log of what worked and what wasted time, because memory is unreliable after a long session. Cheap calipers, a sharp pencil, and patience beat expensive tools used carelessly. Next up is tidying the bench and labelling the offcuts so the next build starts faster.
from r5999betx8coxw
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I refuse to accept I am powerless, for I am all that I have. What does it mean to say “I'm doing well” in a world that's designed to make people unwell? I don't need recuperation—I don't need to get better at adapting to a “normal life,” I don't need a normal that's better at including me. There is no normal that is not a prison, and there is no prison that should not be destroyed. And I refuse to surrender my desire for destruction to any power that claims to be above me.
I accept my desires are larger than life, and that what I destroy will never be enough. Still I desire, still I live, and still I destroy, for it is within my power. I am the product of the choices I refuse to surrender. And it is my commitment to making militant assessments of those choices that makes me sober.
I want to break free from my own suffering in a way that fully meets my needs or not at all. And I want to act in solidarity with your liberation from suffering in a way that fully meets your needs or not at all. For liberation is the product of caring for the people we refuse to abandon. And it is our commitment to not abandoning ourselves for each other that makes us comrades in recovery from this world.
我拒絕接受自己是無能為力，因為我所擁有的只有自己。在一個設計是令人崩潰的世界之中，「我很好」到底有什麼意義？我需要的不是恢復—要好轉的不是我適應「正常生活」的能力、要進步的不是常態能包容我的程度。沒有不就是監獄的常態，沒有不需要毀滅的監獄。我也拒絕把毀滅的慾望交給任何自稱是高於我的力量。
我承認我慾望是非同凡響，承認我永遠會毀滅得不夠。仍然我想望、仍然我非沒、仍然我硬毀，因為這在我能力的規範之內。我就是自己拒絕託付的選擇的結果。而我的穩重源於我對好鬥地反省這些選擇做出來的承諾。
除非完全擺脫自己的痛苦的方式能十分滿足我的需求，我什麼方式都不要。除非我和你解脫痛苦的團結方式能十分滿足你的需求，我什麼方式也都不要。因為解放就是關愛我們拒絕拋棄的人們的結果。而我們從現存中復原的同志關係源於我們對拒絕為彼此拋棄自己做出來的承諾。
from Dyscommunication
Situationist paraphrases or quotes for next weekend’s No Kings protest—after putting one on a sign, you could put the rest you like on a flyer and post or pass out! On the Poverty of Student Life allegedly inspired students to join striking workers, take over factories, turn cars over to create barricades, pull up cobblestones to throw at police, and almost take over France in May, 1968! It’s also an introduction to other Situationist texts and shows the inspiration of several authors of anti-authoritarian writings.
return to nature and [the] human nature [of mutual aid].”
from from the raincoast
Before I was a socialist, I was a fan. Growing up I never really cared much about anything apart from at least having a decent day, not getting scolded at school and pretty much my parents. I was born in Davao City to a middle-class family of a public school teacher and a company man, all I ever wanted was to breeze thru my childhood days without any thought of pain or misery. I remember once watching in 2014 a GMA telenovela, 'More than Words', and getting fired up that the antagonists were assaulting Janine Gutierrez and Elmo Magalona. I just wanted a boring story where there would be no problems, where my life can exist without being persecuted and where my passion is respected.
Around that time as well I was introduced to the concept of Korean popular music, more known as K-pop, at the time Super Junior, 2NE1 and BIGBANG were the major acts you had to know and their songs got played in Davao local contemporary hit radio (CHR). Debutantes like BTS and EXO started knocking on my door around the same time, and I got wind of it thru one of my caretakers, however, that didn't last long as I quickly grew up and my parents thought there was no need for it anymore. So was my phase for K-pop, at the young age of 9 I already had some knowledge about these groups. My mom prohibited me from listening to this stuff until I got back around it in 2017. We meet BTS and EXO again. I decided to take the ARMY route.
I quickly had a friend group in Grade 7 because of my allegiance to K-pop instead of Anime, which for starters I had abandoned as I was basically just relying on terrestrial TV to watch Fairytale, Detective Conan, One Punch Man, My Hero Academia, etc., anyway this was the jumping pad. 2017 was a reintroduction to what I think I was destined for, music, specifically just listening. I love when that beat drops, however corny that may sound. Music was my escape for the harsh battles I was experiencing as I got thrown into campus journalism, science research, and even masculinity. Nothing short of an identity crisis right? One thing was certain, my faith in the auditory landscape. I was so alienated by Western pop music at this point, I felt like the songs coming out of the radio were trendy messes or just minimalist nonsense that felt easy and had to be easy to get the least common denominator audience. 21 Guns is not better than Thinking Out Loud, for crying out loud.
This fandom path was also apparent with my politics, I was such a fan of Rodrigo Duterte, back in 2009 when my aunties from Aklan visited in Davao my mother would turn on the TV and listen to what Mayor had to say at his weekly Sunday morning V-LIVE called 'Gikan sa Masa, Para sa Masa' it aired on ABS-CBN Channel 4. My aunties would be astonished at how brave the Mayor was, little did I even know what mess that would be a decade later. I only got into politics because of my parents' parasocialism to Duterte. I mean how can they dissociate from that when we are settlers living on stolen land? My mom is not indigenous to Davao and so was my dad, what made them come here is the 'promise' of a better future because Mindanao was 'virgin' land. Look at what happened to that in 2026...
I am proud to be born and raised on fandom. I will defend fandom forever, I continue to believe in the potential of the fandom. This conglomeration built upon from the structural disassembly of ostracized minoritized groups (i.e. women, queers, disabled, and indigenous peoples) forever will be a revolutionary thing. The fact that meta-modernity brought about this construct thru the paradox of neoliberalism, in such a peripheral state as the Philippines, is a testament to the reformulation of ontology as we decipher it, projecting from particles, and emanating from the weight it rests upon this perceptive experience of living. It such pains me that in 2026, we have yet to acknowledge the political nature of it at least within the mainstream left. With that and by establishing it as that and by understanding that we are in the meta-modern paradigm, we must grapple and confront how the far-right has been modelling our death within the trappings of our misreadings.
My first Twitter account was made in 2018, it was made in hopes of finding spaces where K-pop discourse is alive and I learn something. I never saw Twitter as a battleground of which I had to participate and get agency until 2019, where I berated an EXO-L for things they said about BTS and their place in the music industry. I was definite in my faith on the bottom-up nature of success BTS had. I mean Big Hit was the David, the Big 5 (SM, YG, JYP, LOEN and CJ E&M) were hegemons. My reality of Duterte and the constant repetition of his remarks on television, echoed by broadcasters on the radio every morning of my 14 year life back then, just mirrored and reinforced the frame I had on K-pop, it clicked in late 2018 that I had to defend BTS to defend the artistic integrity of the industry and abolish the oligopoly in South Korea.
When Martial Law was declared in Mindanao back in 2017, I was quite confused because it didn't seem necessary even if an incursion was happening in Marawi, Freedom Park bombing happened, and NCCC set ablaze. It took quite a few steps for me to realize and verbalize this internal rebellion I had when school had to be cut short due to the Martial Law being in effect meaning there were curfews in Davao and class ended at 2pm sharply. 45 minute classes, DepEd was worse back in Briones' time and we all forgot about that because of Sara Duterte.
“June 10, 2019. I was coming home from a day full of uncertainties in my life. I was scared of doing research and my thesis because of our professor who was so critical and thorough in every step of the way. I was casting doubt upon myself and my abilities. Can I still go through this course that I am about to take? Can I still take it? Can I still graduate? Those words were really scaring, despair was just in my mind. Walking towards the pedestrian and going to the bus stop, I decided to pluck my cheap earphones, listen to some new music from a group I wasn’t sure about with their last comeback, and listened WAVE, first out of all. It was unforgettable, how I met my eventual love for ATEEZ and this song. It was full of doubt and scepticism but I just rushed towards the wave of faith and it worked.” — excerpt from K-Pop Songs of The Summer: ATEEZ – WAVE (deforestedmusic, 2021)
I also had to grapple that SM City Davao was the new 'it' mall which was also a symbolic change for me since I had personal attachments to the 'bazaar' feel of the mall. That of course didn't stop crime from still occuring in Davao but the perception and confidence of being in a middle class family gave me this impression/assurance, that it was safe. I even noticed a lot of social mobility fast since 2018-19 marked a time where people rapidly got an iPhone and a new car, things that I thought were so lucrative you had to have a mansion to afford. Turns out it was just Ponzi schemes — popping up.
Aside from that my obsession with stan culture was taking me everywhere, partly as my medication to crisis. I was pretty much fond of exploring new groups while continuing to display utmost importance to BTS as ever, I found ATEEZ, Stray Kids and OnlyOneOf at a time where my identity crisis took the biggest of my time. My junior high school (elementary—even worse) experience being absolute toxic as waterboarding could ever get, I still got the privilege of being a son of a teacher there. I keep on gaslighting myself the system was fair, but everything materialized out of it just wasn't. Davao teachers are some of the most misanthropic individuals out there, I adjusted so hard to college because I couldn't believe instructors can be humans instead of tyrants.
Fandom saved me. Fandom saved a lot of us. Unfortunately, even that can ostracize us. I got lambasted and red-tagged in late 2020 for speaking up on human rights causes, school administration interventions and supporting community pantries. Fandom is so potent in its incubation of narratives that when a user suddenly gains all clout from the space, they become hegemons that reinforce and perpetuate harmful and sectarian viewpoints. In 2019, I still defended Duterte but my opposition to a certain policy and this sudden backlash ultimately drove them to exile me. Some even confronted me as the News Editor to retract an article, which I did not do and of course they tried to pin it onto me. However, fandom still lingered as I entered the pandemic unsure if I was going to graduate Grade 10 at all with music and now boys' love.
My acceptance of being an aromantic bisexual was because of 2gether the Series, Sarawat and Tine really bought down my guard and I surrendered to 'sin'. Catholic guilt reigned heavily for me, but I learned to finally break the cycle. I soon just went ahead and watched SOTUS, I Told Sunset About You, and Light On Me, thanks to that one gay friend I still had. Soon enough I got into that fandom, the BL television fandom. The shutdown of ABS-CBN, Black Lives Matter, COVID-19 pandemic response and raging authoritarianism, added by the Twitter news (which algorithmically was heavily liberal at the time), finally pushed me to denounce Rodrigo Duterte. Vaush, Hasanabi, PhilosophyTube, hbomberguy, Big Joel, Shaun, a lot of Western philosophy and video essays saved me. Fandom again at work.
Now, how come I say that “the far-right has been modelling our death within the trappings of our misreadings.” Simple. The bots, the paid actors, the decentralized system, the 'horizontal' vibe, the accessibility paid off. The psyop had worked, Epstein in hell laughed as the population constant getting into identity politics, 'feminism', and 'woke'. Distraction and permission. The HYBE that had been formed was simply the logical conclusion of late-stage capitalism, competition has to replace forms, faces, structure, and logic. The oligopoly still exists but so does HYBE. Capital won over the proletariat and we, the fandom, have been used.
Korean pop artists under contractualization in wage-labor face immense structural fealty to serve their fans and the corporation, in the sense that the fans have invested unpaid visibility and marketing, and in addition to paid (while some could be other avenues of fanwork) purchase of their music plus the 'investment' system that the Korean industry fosters to 'produce' talent. In that sense a certain division has risen particularly in political relations. A subset of fans demand visibility to marginalized peoples often conflicting with neoliberal status-quo institutions like corporate social responsibility gimmicks from coporations and the like (i.e. Boycott, Divestment and Sanction calls for the artist), while the other set keeping the neoliberal status-quo to function in order to conserve the accessibility of the artist to the lowest common denominator audience (i.e. forgiving and supporting work for Zionists). This is summing the tyranny to the artist from corporations, which remember still do operate under this service. For some groups that have amassed cultural significance like BTS, they do have agency in terms of saying things on parasocial platforms (i.e. Weverse, YouTube, TikTok) especially under more liberal-minded corporations like HYBE.
This economic agency amassed by performing wage-labor and proper compensation of the industry creates a powerful space wherein revolutionary action can spark in some creative ways. Example of which is an artist calling out fans for stalking or for engaging in untenable behavior. Revolutionary in the context of the proletariat fighting back and asserting space within a highly arboreal containment. Although only BTS and BLACKPINK have received this kind of treatment due to the ubiquitous, larger than life legacy they have inculcated within the system itself, which if given without any compensation to the act, will abolish the credibility of the industry.
Political acts have copied this parasocialism today, however, Duterte really beat them by two decades as ABS-CBN Davao allowed a blocktime lease to occur with the City Information Office. It is indeed in this revisionist, highly traitorous but logical gamble that operators can perpetuate territories of surveillance, harm, and re-education. Narratives coordinated and coming out of neatly contained fandom spaces which are posted by a sizeable chunk of users are the best vessels for this obfuscation that the enemy is within. Divide and conquer.
We must recognize that fandom is not static, it is dynamic. It can be captured and taken. Misread and be repurposed. It cannot be conquered but it can be a part of something beyond its construct. The far-right can capture it, but can never survive the autophagy. We must now move within our own fandoms, transcend that construct, create the stolons, bloom from it and assemble. Opening up to neighbors and being authentic is necessary to fight fascism, to fight statism, to fight obfuscation devices. Use its rhizomatic nature to be the smokescreen deluding the elite. The rich 1% can try to take away humanity, but we the 99% will struggle to conserve it.
from 異軌與地下城 Dungeons & Détournement
《一雪前赤》的改版
a hack of red snow
內容警告：後設恐怖、飲食混亂、憂鬱、怕脆弱的恐懼、敵對性的敘述者、跟別人互不理睬、被拋棄的恐懼、情緒自傷/自我破壞、絞刑架幽默、超現實血腥畫面、怕接觸污染的恐懼、溺水、自我厭惡、強迫尋求再保證、呼吸困難、無性行為的身體侵犯
content warning: meta-horror, disordered eating, depression, fear of vulnerability, adversarial narrator, not being on speaking terms with someone, fear of abandonment, emotional self-harm/self-sabotage, gallows humor, surreal gore, fear of contamination, drowning, self-loathing, compulsive reassurance seeking, suffocation, non-sexual physical violation
暫停。查：「這該死的拘執佮愛」。啟動重複播。再繼續滾動下去。
PAUSE. Look up “damn that stubbornness damn that love.” Put it on repeat. Then keep scrolling.
骯髒的盤子 是你唯一攜帶的東西
油污
要硬去 再 硬 去
你非常飢餓
A dirty plate is all that you carry
grease
to scour and scour
you are very hungry
擲 2d6 來判斷渴望
記錄 在空白的紙上
作為你的角色卡
Roll 2d6 to determine your craving
record it on a blank sheet of paper
to use as your character sheet
2-5: 無法享用的東西。要擲多個骰子的時候只能擲一顆。 What you can't have. If needing to roll multiple dice, you can only roll one.
6-10: 無法做的東西。只能在角色卡上記錄奇數片段裡的東西。 What you can't make. Only record things from odd numbered sections on your character sheet.
11: 找不到的東西。被拋棄。關於搜尋的骰 -1。 What you can't find. FORSAKEN. -1 to all rolls that involve searching.
12: 被你剛吞沒的東西。不知足。把角色卡的其中一角咬掉。 What you just consumed. INSATIABLE. Bite off a corner of your character sheet.
擲 3d4 來判斷生命值
今天有哭的話 -1 睡眠不足的話 -2 昨天也是的話 -3 那又怎樣的話 +4 你在說謊的話 -6 知道要命的話 +10
再把結果 記錄 在角色卡上
Roll 3d4 to determine your health
-1 if you cried today -2 if you didn't get enough sleep -3 if that was yesterday too +4 if you say you don't care -6 if you're actually lying +10 if it kills you to admit it
and record the result on your character sheet
如果目前在遊戲外播放的音樂有歌詞 把聽到的一段在角色卡上寫下來 如果在遊戲中找到用處 用完把它給劃掉
如果你聽到的段是純音樂 寫下「血落歸槽」 之中每一個字是能花費的 +1 花完劃掉 劃掉最後的話就會死
如果你現在才開始放音樂 生命扣 1 點 由於你認為我 會為了你重複自己
If the music playing outside of the game currently has lyrics record a section that you hear on your character sheet if you make use of it inside the game cross it out after you're done
if the section you hear is an instrumental write down SINK within it each letter is a +1 you can spend after it's spent cross it off if you cross off the last, you die
if you just started playing music right now lose 1 point of health for expecting me to put myself on repeat for you
你把髒盤子帶到水槽洗 但水槽裡有個顛倒的塑膠袋 是家裡那另外一個人放的 你們超過一個周沒說話 可以擲 2d6 去尋找 ta
寫下四個不說話讓你害怕的原因 要面對另外一個人的時候 可以借助這些原因 來傷害自己 把自己利用完 然後劃掉
或著是你可以繼續滾動下去
You bring the dirty plate to wash at the sink but inside the sink is an upside-down plastic bag placed there by the other person who lives in the house you haven't spoken in over a week you can roll 2d6 to search for them
write down four reasons why you're not talking that make you scared when you confront the other person you can invoke these reasons to hurt yourself to make yourself useful then cross yourself out
or you can just keep scrolling
想怎樣處理塑膠袋？只能有一個選擇。
把它移出去：袋子下流出鮮血，玷污水槽、料理台、地板、你的衣服、你的手。失去 d4 生命。劃掉一個原因。
不理它：你打開水龍頭，開始把油污洗掉。你把乾淨的盤子收起來。你的手開始出血，一直流不停。失去 d12 生命。劃掉所有原因。
吃掉它：入口即化。味道像燒仙草。獲得 d4 生命。下次擲骰 -1。
把它撕碎：關掉音樂，大聲尖叫。在角色卡上寫下一句髒話。
What do you do with the bag? You can only choose one.
MOVE IT: Fresh blood pours out from underneath the bag, staining the sink, the countertop, the floor, your clothes, your hands. Lose d4 health. Cross out one reason.
IGNORE IT: You turn on the faucet and start washing the grease stains off. You put the clean plate away. Your hands start to bleed, and they won't stop. Lose d12 health. Cross out every reason.
EAT IT: It melts in your mouth. Tastes like grass jelly. Gain d4 health. -1 to your next roll.
TEAR IT APART: Turn off the music and scream. Write an expletive down on your character sheet.
如果你有去尋找 ta…
If you searched for them...
2-11: 你找到一間空房子還有一杯紅茶，半空。你帶不走。 You find an empty house and a cup of black tea, half full. You can't take it away.
12: 你找到一間空房子還有一杯紅茶，全滿。你帶不走。 You find an empty house and a cup of black tea, full. You can't take it away.
水槽 （不管還有沒有塑膠袋） 突然變得太滿 開始淹沒廚房
你沉 入 洪水
它在試圖 將會成功 把你淹死
The sink (with plastic bag or not) suddenly overflows starts flooding the kitchen
you sink into the flood
it is trying to will succeed in drowning you
記得 你擁有的東西 這就是為什麼 你把它們 寫下來 的原因
Remember the things you have that is why they are written down
採取行動
使用歌詞 使用原因 使用髒話 使用虛無
Make your move
USE LYRIC USE REASON USE EXPLETIVE USE NOTHING
擲 d12 來使用歌詞
Roll d12 to use the lyric
1-6: 話如鯁在喉。感覺自己是廢物。 The words get stuck in your throat. You feel like a failure.
7-12: 你把話嗆出來。下次受傷害的時候，減 1 點傷害。 You choke out the words. The next time you take damage, it will be reduced by 1.
13+: 你的聲響嘹亮。下次擲骰 +1。 Your voice rings clear. +1 to your next roll.
擲 3d4 來使用原因
Roll 3d4 to use a reason
3-12+: 寫下三樣能不靠另外一個人給自己安全而做的事。如果有需要，再重複寫一遍。寫完把原因劃掉。 Write down three things that you can do to give yourself safety without relying on the other person. Write them down again if you have to. When you are done writing, cross the reason out.
擲 2d6 來使用髒話
Roll 2d6 to use the expletive
2-6: 血爆出你的喉嚨。 Blood erupts from your throat.
7-12: 你被口水嗆到。 You choke on your spit.
13+: 你嘗到新鮮的空氣。下次擲骰 +1。 You taste fresh air. +1 to your next roll.
擲 d12 來使用虛無 （必須一無所有）
Roll d12 to use nothing (you must have nothing left)
1: 感到慌張。受到 d4 傷害，下次擲骰 -1。 Feel panic. Take d4 damage, -1 to your next roll.
2-6: 感到渴念。堅持下去。 Feel yearning. Go on.
7-11: 感到無能。你沒有效果。 Feel powerless. You have no effect.
12+: 感到解脫。洪水消失。 Feel release. The flood disappears.
採取行動完之後 （如果洪水沒消失的話） 換它採取行動
After you make your move (and if the flood has not disappeared) it makes its move
（可能含血的）洪水試圖讓你窒息；擲 2d6
The water (which possibly contains blood) tries to make you suffocate; roll 2d6
2-6: 它成功。你死了。把角色卡上全部的東西都劃掉。在背後寫下你的遺言。 It succeeds. You're dead. Cross everything off your sheet. Write your last words on the back.
7-11: 它佔領你的氣管。時間慢下來。受到 d20 傷害。要命的話，按照以上的規則處理。 It colonizes your windpipe. Time slows down. You take d20 damage. If it kills you, resolve with rules above.
12: 它擊中你的腹部。你喘不過氣。受到 d10 傷害。要命的話，按照以上的規則處理。 It punches you in the gut. It leaves you breathless. You take d10 damage. If it kills you, resolve with rules above.
13+: 你繼續憋氣。下次擲骰 +2。 You keep holding your breath. +2 to your next roll.
再次採取行動，並且重複 到其中（或彼此） 再也不在
Make another move and repeat until one (or both of you) are no longer here
彷彿夜晚沉默的降臨 迫於最漫長的一天 你家的前門終於被打開
Like the silent fall of night born from the longest day the front door of your house finally opens
另外一個人 向你前進 留下紅色的痕跡 寫下你希望能對 ta 說的話 我希望能給你所有的一切 對不起
The other person approaches you trailing red write down what you wish to say to them i wish i could give you everything i'm sorry
ta 的存在感 給你一點安慰
這個未來 你還能面對
Their presence give you an inch of comfort
this future is what you can face
𝄂
from from the raincoast
“Galing din ng trap ng Duterte-camp no? They are aware na si Sara Duterte ang strongest candidate for the 2028 elections, and they completely isolated themselves from the BBM administration. Ngayon, mapipilitan na talaga mabuo ang “UniPink” or BBM and liberal formations, kung ano man yan. Then yan na nga ang magiging open propaganda nila to sway neutral votes, bakit nga ba kasi kakampi ang mga supposed liberals and progressives kay BBM, basically yan lang magiging propaganda nila. However, hindi yan pwede gawin basta-basta ng liberal or pink camp kasi ma di-dissuade ang ibang voters sa kanila. May factor din na focus sila VP Sara sa real-politik na grounded issues lalo na sa mga OFWs at regions nila. Of course, may mga players pa diyan, that I won't mention sa ngayon, at mga political tsismis na naririnig ko but so far ayan.”
When the early ages of the internet was unraveling, there was an understanding that a great potential had unfolded given a lot of activists have used it as a platform to organize much effectively and much succinctly in ways that physical activity limited the reach of socialism. There was also the reimagination of what working class politics could look like in the aftermath of the fall of the Soviet Union, the complete reformulation of the Chinese Communist Party, 9/11, and increasing connectivity. Underneath our collective consciousness there was also brewing tensions as to how the right can be refounded and in ways that even conservatism hasn't dared exploring. For instance take the sudden rise of academics who criticized the foundational politicizing of their own field but not in ways you'd expect. In the aftermath of modernity, science has definitely been scrutinized as some have used it to further authoritarian entrenchment and institutional power to the point where the scientists had no choice but to call out the irreverent experiments of John Money and the uncovered tests that the US government had done to indigenous people and even everyday Americans. Right-wing academia has basically learned from postmodern Marxist theory that building alternative structures to the status quo politically aware ones albeit liberal are good to bolster the revitalization of their project. Of course the right could only do this insofar as they literally are the status quo, the economy, the hegemony, the apparatus, the narrative.
It's not shocking to see how Sara Duterte operates because it literally is just copy paste from what we all learned in the 4chan-era of the West. This internet rabbit hole inoculation of the most insanely absurd but highly intriguing topics ranging from transvestigations, aliens, spiritualism, and alternatives are all avenues that both the left and the right are trying to take space at the same time at everything. It speaks to how wildly our terms of service have changed from small meetup discussions in the postmodern era we have been trying to pigeonhole ourselves to this echo chamber of esoteric knowledge, inoculating paradoxical but unique ways of bringing something new that hopefully answers a time old question. How do we make a better place for humans?
I think genuinely some have been baffled at the hypocrisy of those front and center in the “left” and the right has been exploiting a lot of these thru doublespeak which some liberal governments continue to do and basically obfuscates socialism with liberalism and gives ammunition to the right. The major failing of the right ultimately will be the same as the “left” (the optics of what the right sees as communist or socialist), the inability to fully integrate what was deconstructed. The current hypocrisy of anti-imperialism will eventually come biting back the right as well, in terms of multipolarity although in ways we have all been familiar — evasion of international crimes.
The revelation that Epstein facilitated a multinational network of politicos engaging in the DaVinci Code-esque secret society antics just posits that the right always just exposes what it is, post-ironically. This new genre of comedy is what probably drives the facilitation of continued support for authoritarians like Duterte, Xi, Trump, Orban, Putin, Khomeinei, Maduro and Netanyahu but it also serves to the public's interest in actually seeing thru hypocrisy. People are in their hiveminds not because of choice although they may understand and agree that they did choose it, but rather thru the ways that the Social Contract has toyed with them either intentionally, unintentionally, by virtue or by manipulation.
Sara Duterte wants to appear like the savior that she is to the Bisaya population, a very strong ethnic group that thrives on standing head up and proving their own worth. But honestly isn't all of this tiring? I know it is because even Dabawenyos can't be bothered to read anymore on any issue, if Sara is the one harassed the only possible logic is she's being casted in the garbage bin of an elitist hegemony that is Imperial Manila. Can Sara Duterte sustain her promises and not reduce the Bisaya into this box, because clearly she has failed to deliver and her only catch is the dramatic revenge. People love revenge and it's because of how ABS-CBN has embedded the idea that revenge is the only way to exact justice thru any protagonist they like, exactly the problem of liberalism facilitating fascist rhetoric.
The fight is to reframe what we want. Instead of battling corruption, say gut the ropes of clientelism. Instead of battling China, say open up the commons for humanity. Stand firm by who we are. The only thing we are good at is to be consistent and authentic. It's all vibes, performance and optics, however, by following thru the performance we enact the hope that there are still willing humans to try a better future. It is radical, it is open, but it never succumbs to external and hegemonic capture. We are many, we are also one in the overarching sense of appreciation for the beauty of humanity.
Sara will definitely try to appeal to the most unheard-of and unspoken individuals. We must be ahead of the curve, outnumber the narratives and outflank the extremism she possesses. This is our call, this is the turning point for our own survival.
gong ming – to understand together; pronounced the same as the word for “resonance” in Mandarin.
共明 – 共同明白；和「共鳴」同音。
knowledgeshare – like a skillshare, but for knowledge on theory. The goal is not to educate the masses under the role of an expert, to have inflammatory discourse with your comrades to prove your superiority in knowledge, or to remain in a stagnant echo chamber without criticism, but to create a genuinely reciprocal and challenging exchange of ideas—to refine your political understanding of the world together.
心得分享 – 跟技能分享一樣，但分享的是理論心得。目的不是以專家的身分來教育大眾、不是為了證明自己的心得優越跟同志們挑撥離間、也不是留在停滯缺乏批評的回聲室，而是創造真正互惠和有挑戰性的思想交流—來互相精煉彼此在政治方面對世界的理解。
i am sick of seeing the same zines passed around to the same people. i am sick of “discussing” theory with people who only selectively read and speak to reinforce their own beliefs. i am sick of “comrades” who believe they have the authority to tell me how to think. i am sick of “comrades” who believe they have the right not to think.
我實在受不了再繼續看同樣的獨立刊物在同樣的人群中傳閱。我實在受不了再繼續跟閱讀或說話的時候只想增強堅信的人一起「討論」理論。我實在受不了認為有權告訴我如何思考的「同志」。我實在受不了認為有權拒絕思考的「同志」。
But I refuse to believe that I must be like them in order to find comrades. I refuse to believe that I will never find the deep affinity that I want. I refuse to let 4+ years of burnt bridges and failed projects hold me back. I am going to take a good hard look at reality and demand the impossible once again.
但我拒絕相信我必須要像他們一樣才能找得到同志。我拒絕相信我永遠找不到心中理想的深切同寅。我拒絕讓四年多的毀斷後路和失敗項目變成我的阻擋。我要好好審視現實，再次要求不可能的事。
I wish for Gong Ming Knowledgeshare to be a decentralized union of egoists. I wish to share knowledge through one-on-one discussions with everyone in the union; depending on the limits of people's interest, affinity and capacity, there may or may not be group discussions. The theory we discuss does not have to come from a book. The frequency of discussion is not important to me—what I'm after is quality. If you're in, then come find me.
我希望共明心得分享會是個去中心化的利己主義者聯盟。我希望跟聯盟中每一個人有一對一的心得分享；取決於人家的興趣、同寅和能力的限制，可能會有小組討論，也可能不會。討論的理論不需要從書本來。討論的次數對我不重要—我要的是質量。想來就來找我。
需要（在政治方面）有「做點事」的感覺不小心的話會讓你很容易被利用
When I was a child, autonomous organizing was out of the question for me as someone who grew up in an abusive family. Even after becoming an adult, my parents would not let me go outside on my own, and when they did I not only had to do it according to their schedule, but also couldn't associate with people they did not approve of—that is to say, anybody whose goal wasn't to succeed “like normal” under the colonial, white supremacist, capitalist system was off limits. If I wanted to mess with politics, it could only be for helping me to get into a good school or into a good job. So for most of my life, social media was the only place I was active politically. It socialized me into reductive and antagonistic terms of engagement, and I was always looking to follow the accounts that yelled the most at the most people, thinking that those who always lost their temper at the drop of a hat over any amount of social injustice, no matter how small, were the one who were most committed to criticizing society. And as soon as someone got angry at me, I compulsively forced myself to change my mind.
小時候，做自治的組織行動對在虐待性家庭長大的我是絕對不可能的事。甚至是成年了之後，我的父母都不會讓我自己出門，而且出門的時候不僅要按照他們的時間，也不能跟他們不接受的人結交—也就是說，任何目的不是在殖民、白人至上主義的資本主義系統之下得到「正常」成功的人都禁止入生。要搞政治，必須只能為了幫助我進好學校或是找到好工作。因此，大半輩子 SNS 是我唯一有積極參與政治的地方。它的社會化讓我習慣簡化性和對抗性的互動標準，而我一直都在尋找最會罵最多人的帳戶去追隨，以為最常為了不管多麼大小的社會不公發脾氣的人就是最投入社會批評的人。而且一當別人生氣，我就強迫自己馬上改變意見。
I told myself it wasn't fawning, it was refusing to tone police. I bought into the functionally abusive form of accountability called “deference politics,” because I didn't think I was qualified to do anything but to defer. I had no political principles, because I did not think I had the ability to arrive at “the correct” political principles, because I had no political self-esteem. I did not think I was allowed to think or do anything unless it was perfectly correct according to everyone else's standards of social justice or die, because I did not think I deserved to have autonomy.
我跟自己說這不是在討好，這是在拒絕管制語氣。我完全相信了作用是虐待的「服從政治」問責模式，因為我認為除了服從我什麼都沒資格去做。我沒有政治原則，因為我認為自己沒有能力找到「正確」的政治原則，因為我沒有政治的自我肯定。我認為除非是完全符合大家的社會正義標準的話我什麼東西都完全不能去做完全不能去想，因為我認為自己沒有資格擁有自治力。
This isn't an inspiring story about how I reached complete recovery. This is a story about how many times I broke myself for other people to get to where I'm at.
這不是我如何得到完全康復激勵人心的故事。這是我為了別人破壞自己多少次才能到現在的地步的故事。
When I escaped from home and started autonomously organizing offline, I had sort of this idealized image of the local organizing scene, because in comparison to the community of deference politickers I left, it seemed so perfect online. In my heart, I thought: “I failed to be perfect for the deference politickers, but I can try being perfect here.”
當我逃出家之後開始在線下參與自治組織的行動，我對當地的組織圈子有點理想化的印象，因為跟我離開的服從政治活動家的社群比，他們在網路上看起來很完美。心裡想：「為了那些服從政治活動家我失敗做出完美，但在這裡做出完美可以再去試。」
I fall in love with my first project. The comrades there aren't perfect, but for the first time, I feel like I'm Doing Something. I join my first affinity group, and pretend I'm okay that they're almost all white, pretend this isn't a reproduction of the white supremacist conditions of this white-dominated city, pretend that I never grew up militantly refusing to befriend white people after my mom told me a white doctor made fun of her accent, pretend I can be perfectly normal about all this for them. Because all we have is each other. Because besides them I have nobody else.
我愛上了弟一個項目。那裡的同志確實不完美，但我第一次感覺到自己在「做點事」。我加入了第一個同寅組織，假裝他們幾乎全部是白人不是個問題、假裝這不是這白人主導的城市的白人至上狀態的再生產、假裝自從我媽媽跟我提過白醫生嘲笑她的腔之後我從來沒有好鬥地拒絕跟白人做朋友、假裝為了他們我能把這當作是完全的正常。因為我們唯一擁有的就是彼此。因為除了他們我誰都沒有。
I fuck up with my first project. I find out my affinity group may have accidentally helped one homeless comrade rob another in camp. Even though my affinity group says it's a problem for the camp to solve, I insist on confirming the truth and making amends, and talk to the camp about it with a comrade outside the affinity group. It turns out to be a misunderstanding, but the comrade accused of stealing ends all contact with me afterwards. I do not forgive myself for this result. I ban myself from working with both the camp and my affinity group forever. I'm back to having no one again.
我搞砸了第一個項目。我發現我的同寅組織可能不小心幫了一個無家可歸的同志在營地偷了別人的東西。雖然同寅組織說這是營地人該解決的問題，我堅持要確定真實和給予補償，跟同寅組織外的同志一起去跟營地人談一談。結果是誤會，可是被控告偷東西的同志跟我斷聯。得到這樣的結果我無法原諒自己。我永遠禁止自己跟營地人和我的同寅組織合作。我回到完全沒有別人的生活。
And then I have a psychotic break. I delete or leave all my social media accounts because I'm afraid of what I'll say to other people. This lasts for about an year. And when I come back to social media, I'm completely raw. Every interaction terrifies me. If I can't even trust my basic perception of material reality, how can I trust my perceptions on a social and political level? But I learn to live without that trust. Because all I have is myself. My damned-to-be-imperfect self.
然後我的思覺又突然失調。因為害怕自己會對別人說的話我刪掉或離開所有的 SNS 帳戶。這樣的狀態大概持續了一年。然後當我回到 SNS 的時候，感覺是完全的刺痛。每一個互動都讓我害怕到不行。如果我連物質現實的知覺都不能信任，怎麼能信任自己對社會和政治的觀念？但我學會在沒有那信任的狀態之下繼續生活。因為我唯一擁有的只有自己。我注定無法完美的自己。
I fall in love with my second project. It's even more glorious than the first. It drives me crazy in all the right ways. And it connects me to new comrades and a third project I fall in love with. For the first time, I even get close enough to some of those comrades to call them friends. And just when I think it will last, everything blows up in my face in quick succession. I civilly try to tell Comrade-friend 1 not to use the term “narcissistic abuse” because it's Cluster B sanism, and when I express my sadness over 1's refusal to stop using it, 1 weaponizes my own personality disorder against me and accuses me of symptomatically demanding perfection. Comrade-friend 2 and I fall into a student-mentor dynamic, in which 2 acts as my guide to the local organizing scene. 2 starts telling me how a bunch of comrades I'm one to two degrees of separation from are or are covering for abusers, rapists and the like. And even though all of the accusations are true, even though I always want to hear those warnings, by the time I'm done distancing myself from those people, I have almost no one left but 2.
我愛上了第二個項目。比第一個項目還要更榮美。它讓我發了最對的瘋。而且它也讓我接觸到新的同志和第三個被我愛上的項目。我第一次跟其中一些同志們親近到能說他們是朋友。然後正當我認為能在這樣的狀態繼續過下去，就碰到了一個又一個的失算。我很客氣地跟同志朋友 1 號說不要用「自戀型虐待」這一詞，因為是對 B 型人格疾患的精神障礙歧視，而當我向 1 號對停用的拒絕表示悲傷，1 號利用我自己的人格障礙來批評我說我是根據症狀性地在要求完美。同志朋友 2 號和我開始了學生和導師的動態，之中 2 號作為我的當地組織圈子嚮導。2 號開始告訴我一大堆我有一到二度分隔的同志自己是或是在幫忙掩護虐待者、強暴者等等。雖然那些控告全都是真的、雖然那些警告我一直都會想聽，當我和那些人疏遠完之後，身邊就快要只剩下 2 號了。
One day, when 2 is breaking the news to me about another rapist-abuser, we have a fight. 2 accuses me of being an abuse apologist, over details I refuse to share publicly. And I'm aware this means some people will think this means I'm selectively redacting details to make it look like I'm not really an abuse apologist. And I'm aware that preemptively adding that disclaimer also looks performative. I don't expect you to take my side. I'm not telling this story because it's right, I'm telling it because it's true.
有一天，當 2 號在跟我說另一個強暴和虐待者的消息，我們吵起了架。 2 號指責我是虐待辯護者，細節我不願意公開分享。我也知道這樣會讓某些人認為我是在有選擇地刪減內容為了要讓自己看起來不是虐待辯護者。也知道先發制人地加上那個免責聲明會看起來很操演性。我不指望你跟我站在同一邊。我說這個故事的原因不是因為正確，而是真實。
So 2 and I stop working together. And I'm obsessive about trying to figure out whether or not 2 was right to call me an abuse apologist. I'm an abuse survivor. I need to have solidarity with other survivors. It's personal. But I can't force myself to agree with 2. And I hate myself for it. And then 2 gets accused of being a sexual predator. And others come forward with stories of being abused by 2. And then I think about all the other things I could say about 2 that I won't in public that made me question why I wanted 2's approval so much, why it felt like I was nothing when 2 left. And then I hate myself even more, for having been played.
因此 2 號跟我不再一起合作了。而且我一直不停地試圖搞清楚 2 號說我是虐待辯護者到底有沒有錯。我自己是虐待倖存者。我必須跟其他的倖存者團結一致。是私人恩怨。可是我就是逼不了自己跟 2 號同意。我也為此痛恨自己。然後 2 號被指告是性掠奪者。然後其他人跑出來說有被 2 號虐待。然後我開始想到其他我能但是拒絕在公開的地方說關於 2 號的事，讓我懷疑當時為什麼那麼要 2 號的讚賞、為什麼 2 號走了之後讓我覺得自己什麼都不是。然後我又再次痛恨自己，因為自己被耍了。
A comrade invites me to join another project. And I do not fall in love with it. But I stay, thinking the love might come, eventually. It doesn't. It is the most disorganized, white, liberal, reformist, and politically toothless “autonomous” project I have ever been on, and I was a fool to think my influence would have changed anything. I thought work would be the only place where I'd routinely be the only person in the room with a problem, politically. I was not expecting that treatment from people who insisted I was their comrade. “Comrade”—that word didn't mean a damn thing anymore. To them, a “comrade” was someone they could use. A body on the ground. A vessel to be sacrificed for The Cause. Not someone who struggled by their side with shared affinity. “Affinity” didn't mean a damn thing anymore. “Affinity” for them really just meant affection—and affection meant “we like you, do things that we like, or we're going to treat you like you don't exist.”
一位同志邀請我加入另一個項目。我並沒有愛上它。可是我決定待下來，想說愛可能會慢慢出現。但沒有。它是我參與最毫無計劃、最白、最自由派、最改良派和最沒有政治權力的「自治」項目，而且認為我的影響能改變任何這些東西是我在傻。我以為只有工作才會是我一直要當房間裡唯一有政治方面問題的人的地方。想不到堅持說我是他們的同志的人會那樣對待我。「同志」—那一詞變成了死都沒有意思。對他們來說，「同志」就是有用的人。現場現的身。為了偉大的事業能被犧牲的寄託者。不是在身邊一起鬥爭，跟他們有共同的同寅的人。「同寅」變成了死都沒有意思。他們「同寅」的意味只不過是感情—而且感情的意味是：「我們喜歡你，繼續做出我們喜歡的東西，不然我們會把你當作是空氣。」
The day I finally quit that crew, I went on a pilgrimage back to the place where I fell in love with my first project. It has an abandoned water tower, with a long ladder you climb down into total darkness. I remember back then, the first time I went down there with my affinity group, I was so afraid. It was just so overwhelming, not being able to see what was ahead of you, even with a flashlight. But this time I was not afraid. I knew what to expect from the dark. This time I went down alone, and made it all the way to the back of the water tower. And when I made it to the back, I turned around out of curiosity, and witnessed how the sunlight still streamed down from the top of the ladder, realizing that from this angle, the water tower was actually not that dark on the inside. I realized that was what autonomous organizing had felt like for me—how I felt so trapped by all the things that overwhelmed me, that I forgot to look at how far I'd come.
我終於退出那群人之後的那一天，我去訪問愛上第一個項目的地點。那裡有個被遺棄的水塔，裡頭有長長的梯子讓你爬下去進入完全的黑暗。我記得那時候，跟我的同寅組織第一次爬下去，害怕得不得了。就是連有了手電筒都看不見前面有什麼東西，超不能忍受。可是這次我不怕。我知道黑暗會是怎麼樣。這次我自己下去，完全走到水塔的最後面。然後走到後面時，我好奇地轉過來，目擊到陽光從梯子的最上面還是能照得下來，發現從這個角度來看，水塔的裡面其實不太暗。我發覺這就是參與自治組織行動給我的感覺—感覺一直被忍受不了的事情困住，困到忘了看看自己已經走了多遠。
Quitting the project I could not love suddenly freed up so much time for me. I filled it ravenously with things that kept my daggers drawn. It wasn't because I needed to Do Something. It was because, for the first time in my life, I was never clearer about the specific things I wanted to do. I understand, when my options for “comrades” in this city are more often than not people who weaponize “affinity” to discipline you into following their radical or reactionary “autonomous” party line, “all we have is each other” feels like a hostage situation. And I now understand, if what I actually want is revolution, then to let these people make me feel ashamed for wanting more is unprincipled behavior.
退出我愛不上的項目突然讓我奪回了很多時間。我貪婪地用劍拔弩張的事把空填滿。不是因為自己需要「做點事」。是因為這是我生活中第一次那麼徹底地明白自己特別想要做的事。我了解，當我在這個城市中能選擇的「同志」往往都是利用「同寅」來規訓你遵循他們的激進或反動的「自治」路線的人，「我們唯一擁有的就是彼此」感覺就是挾持人質。我現在也了解，如果我真正要的是革命的話，讓這些人讓我因為想要更多而感到羞恥是沒有原則的行為。
Because revolution is not about you coming across as correct—as palatable—to “the masses” or to your comrades in “the cadre.” Revolution is about actually ending the social and material conditions of domination and exploitation that organize the world. And to move with principle is to move with militant clarity on that matter—even if you have to move alone. And to ask that clarity of your comrades is not demanding perfection. It is asking for the bare minimum of revolution. And if revolution is not your bare minimum—if all you want is just to be Doing Something, and to be cheered on for doing that—I am not going to be your enabler. Because god knows I have already enabled myself too much.
因為革命需要的不是讓「群眾」或在「幹部」中的同志感到你的正確—你的可接受性。革命需要的是在實際上結束組織世界的主宰和剝削性的社會和物質狀態。按照原則來行動也就是行動的時候要按照好鬥性的清晰思路去搞懂那件事—就算剩下能行動的人就只有你。而要求你的同志們擁有那樣的清晰思路不是在要求完美。是在要求革命的最低限度。而如果革命不是你的最低限度—如果你唯一要的只是來「做點事」然後被鼓勵—我不要當你的縱容者。天曉得我已經自我縱容了太多次。
an activist, a defender, a crusader of human rights, “your comrade” i'm not your comrade i'm not putting my body on the ground for you for your numbers for your fiction of holy struggle i will not die a martyr for i further no holy cause but as the total apostate which i really am— for the revolution is not a pious event but the most godless of processes and who are you to fucking pray for me?
什麼活動家、什麼人權保護者、 什麼鬥士、「你的同志」 我不是你的同志 我在現場現的身 不是獻給你 獻給你的人數 獻給你謊稱的聖戰 死後我成不了烈士 因為我推不動聖潔的事業 其實我就只能當的是 十足的叛教者— 因為革命 不是虔誠的事件 而是最無神的過程 而你 到底是憑什麼資格 為我祈屁禱？
written in response to this call for submissions
對此徵選公告的回應
“As I stated, the Western military experts admit that the mechanized establishment guard must outnumber the attacking worker by ten to one. What they cannot afford to admit is that even with this numerical superiority they cannot win [...] At ten to one, we still enjoy a strategic, military superiority if we are attacking, because they must defend so many different points vital to the order and continuity of their life-support system, all at the same time. The points to be protected will always outnumber the units who are available to protect them.”
—George Jackson, Blood in My Eye
「如上所述，西方軍事專家承認機械化當權派的警衛隊人數必須是進攻勞動者的十倍。他們擔負不起承認的是就算是擁有數量方面的優勢他們完全贏不了 [...] 在十比一的比例之下，如果我們進攻還是能享有戰略性、軍事方面的優勢，因為他們必須守護那麼多對他們生命維持系統的秩序和持續必不可少的的不同地點，而且要同時守護。必須保護的地點永遠會超過可以保護它們的小隊。」
—喬治·傑克遜，《眼露凶光》
The first time I shoplifted, I was scared as shit. To calm myself down, I kept repeating George Jackson's words like a mantra in my head: The points to be protected will always outnumber the units who are available to protect them. The points to be protected will always outnumber the units who are available to protect them. The security guards couldn't check every aisle at once. There were so many security cameras, I was nothing but a humanoid blur on their screens. I acted like a regular shopper, just browsing for things to buy, while moving nonstop like a shark to avoid the fate of being caught. And I got away. And I couldn't believe it was that easy.
第一次商店行竊的時候，我心裡著急得很。為了讓自己靜下來，我像在唸咒語一樣在心裡中一直重複喬治·傑克遜的話：必須保護的地點永遠會超過可以保護它們的小隊。必須保護的地點永遠會超過可以保護它們的小隊。保安人員不可能一次巡查每一個通道。監視攝影機那麼多，我在它們的螢幕上只不過是個模糊的人形點。我假裝自己是個普通的購物者，只是在看看能買的東西，同時像鯊魚一樣不停地移動，避免被抓到的命運。我就那樣溜走了。簡直不敢相信，真的是那麼簡單。
When I got home, I went back to my Buddhist altar, and turned to face my Siddartha Gautama statue with a sense of guilt. There are five basic precepts in Buddhism that even laypeople have to follow, and I just violated the second one, which was not to steal. Should I even be keeping the altar up anymore? Supporting illegalism and other people's illegalist praxist was one thing, but how could I have the nerve to do it myself and still keep saying I'm Buddhist?
到家的時候，我回到自己的佛壇，愧疚地面對我的釋迦牟尼調像。佛教連在家眾都要遵守的基本五戒，之中我違犯了第二個不偷戒。這樣的話，我是該把佛壇拆下來嗎？支持非法主義和別人的非法主義實踐是一回事，但自己去幹的話，哪來有臉皮繼續說自己是佛教徒？
Well, what kind of political conditions does that kind of Buddhism create? As a Buddhist, do you problematize me for being a thief that steals necessities I cannot afford, or the capitalists for robbing the proletariat of access to those things? As a Buddhist, are you obligated to ignore that the bourgeoisie have hegemony over laws and social norms that govern theft and ownership, and to pretend that the exploiters and the exploited steal under the same conditions? Are you enlightened for refusing to kill the cop in your head (killing violates the first precept, after all)?
啊那種佛教會創造什麼樣的政治狀況？作為佛教徒，你要問題化的是偷買不起必需品的我，還是剝奪無產階級對那些東西的使用權的資本主義者？作為佛教徒，你必要忽略資產階級對管理偷竊的法律和社會規範的霸權，假裝剝削者和被剝削者偷竊的情況一模一樣嗎？拒絕幹掉心裡警察是表示無上正覺的事嗎（殺生不是違犯第一戒嗎）？
What does a Buddhist politically achieve by personally refusing to steal (or kill oppressors)? Reality is not a sutta governed by Buddhist principles—by refusing to take what we need and dying like martyrs, we will not prefigure the ruling class and their lapdogs into dāna and mettā, let alone anarchy and communism. Every commodity you buy fuels the death machine that is capitalism. A cop is not going to care how clean your conscience is before they shoot you. To take the five precepts as universally applicable moral guidelines at face value, and to let the praxis of transcendent spiritual liberation take precedence over the praxis of destroying hierarchical power dynamics and ending the historical material conditions that created them is counterrevolutionary. To me, it is meaningless to believe in a religion that aims for all beings to be free from suffering if the world continues to reproduce systems that create preventable suffering for classes of oppressed people in fact. The only thing that would give it meaning is a religious commitment to changing that world.
佛教徒個人拒絕偷竊（或擊殺壓迫者）的話會得到什麼樣的政治效果？現實不是取決於佛教理論的契經—我們不會以拒絕奪取需要的物品像烈士死去的方式預示統治階級和它們的走狗表現出佈施和慈觀，更不用說無治和共產。每個購買的商品是為資本主義這死亡機器添加的燃料。對你開槍的警察不會管你有沒有天理良心。把五戒信以為真地當作是普遍適用的道德指導方針，並且讓超越宇宙靈性解放的實踐比消滅等級制度的權力動態和結束製造那些動態的歷史物質條件的實踐變得更重要是反革命性的行為。對我來說，如果世界在實際上繼續再生產為被壓迫階級的人製造可阻止的痛苦的系統，對一個目標是讓一切眾生脫離痛苦的宗教有信仰完全沒有意義。唯一能讓它有意義的是虔誠改變那世界的承諾。
So yes, I have the nerve to keep calling myself a Buddhist. I have the nerve to turn breaking the second precept into a religious ritual I regularly observe, because I know ownership isn't politically neutral, and my faith obligates me to take a side, and to accept the karma of that decision. I am not afraid of being reincarnated in Naraka for these transgressions. By the end of a militant life in the human realm, I hope the wardens in hell will be afraid of me.
所以沒錯，我有臉繼續說自己是佛教徒。我有臉把違犯第二戒當作是一種定期舉行的宗教儀式，因為我知道物主身分不是政治中立的事，而我的信仰強使我決定自己站在哪一邊，並且接受決定的果報。我不怕因為這些違反投生奈落。在人間好鬥地過完一生之後，我希望心裡著急的會是地獄裡的獄卒。
from 異軌與地下城 Dungeons & Détournement
零零星星是個部落格貼文系列，專門描寫形形色色不想被我更加發展的 TRPG 點子。要看所有期數，請按 #ZS 的主題標籤。
Zero Stars (ZS) is a blogpost series for various TRPG ideas I didn't want to develop further. To view all issues, please click on the hashtag #ZS.
為什麼在 TRPG 之中，冒險的目的每次都是為玩家獲得更多 XP 和寶藏？傳統的地下城—為了獲得 XP 和寶藏去冒險的地方—到底有沒有必要在解放遊之中存在？冒險的目的能不能不是為了增加個人的權力？非玩家角色存在的目的能不能不是以玩家的需要為準—虛構世界能不能獨立不靠玩家地存在？
Why is it that in TRPGs, the purpose of adventure is always to gain more XP and treasure for the player? Do traditional dungeons—places to go on adventures for XP and treasure—need to exist in a liberationist game? Can the goal of adventure be something other than a quest to amass personal power? Can the purpose of NPCs' existences be something that doesn't revolve the needs of the player—can the fictional world exist on its own without needing the player at all?
我要想像一種冒險，之中焦點不會是玩家跟非玩家角色的衝突。不是「非暴力的冒險」，而是社會革命的冒險。在這個冒險之中，新的現實會出現，而冒險空間的萬物必須決定該如何面對。在這個冒險之中，不管對玩家的鄰近度是什麼，大家都算是冒險家。而且「大家」不只是人形的角色。「大家」包括怪物、植物和動物—那些不能說話的物體，通常除了求生不准有其他的目標—被逼無奈做赤裸生命的存在物。問一下：史萊姆要的是什麼？為什麼蘑菇決定在這裡生長？蛆蟲們是怎麼樣現這個地下城的存在？對它們來說，冒險的意義是什麼？
I want to imagine an adventure where the focus won't be on conflict between PCs and NPCs. Not a “nonviolent adventure,” but an adventure in social revolution. In this adventure, a new reality emerges, and all beings in the space of the adventure must decide how to face that reality. In this adventure, regardless of proximity to the player, everyone is considered an adventurer. And “everyone” is more than just humanoid characters. “Everyone” includes the monsters, the plants, and the animals—those nonspeaking entities who aren't normally permitted to have any other goals beyond striving for survival—those beings who are reduced to bare life. Ask: what do the slimes want? Why did the mushrooms decide to grow here? How did the maggots discover this dungeon? What is an adventure to them?
給《幽影》的轉移
A Diversion for Shades of Hell
hexroll.app 隨機產生沙盒的改編
Adapted from a random sandbox generated by hexroll.app
4 — 5 — 6 | | 1 — 2 — 3
地圖描述：橫 A 字形的地下城。最上層的房間是 4、5、6，最下層的房間是 1、2、3。4 連到 1、5 連到 2。
Map Description: A dungeon shaped like a sideways letter A. The upper level rooms are 4, 5, 6, and the lower level rooms are 1, 2, 3. 4 connects to 1, and 5 connects to 2.
布滿灰塵的架子，裡頭有布滿灰塵的雕像。角落有個屍體。
Dusty shelves filled with dusty STATUES. A CORPSE lies in the corner.
雕像：怪獸般、憤怒、可怕。來自熟悉和外來的文化（對你而言）。
STATUES: Monstrous, wrathful, fearsome. From cultures familiar and foreign (to you).
屍體：老妖精、拿著羽毛撣子、頭被吹箭射中。空手旁邊有破碎的雕像。掠奪品…
這位是吳待認，是烏雷巴地下城的管理員。烏雷巴是來自發惹衛的法師，在穿越時空的時候常常不會回來管地下城的事。烏雷巴偶而會把相對無害的俘虜用法力傳送到戰利品房間，給吳先生訓練成未來的僕人。今天，這俘虜就是你。
可惜吳先生因為老年紀開始有記憶力問題，有一天在打掃戰利品房間的時候忘了架子上有防小偷的秘密陷阱。他不小心拿起一尊雕像，突然間被毒吹箭射中，倒在地上痛苦的死去。
CORPSE: Old elf, holding a feather duster, dart in head. Beside his hand, a statue lies broken on the floor. The loot...
This is Goh Dailin, janitor of Urebar's Dungeon. Urebar is a wizard from Fara Wei who often leaves the dungeon unattended for long periods of time while traveling through other dimensions. Occasionally, Urebar teleports a relatively harmless captive into the trophy room, for Mr. Goh to train as a future servant. Today, that captive is you.
Unfortunately, as Mr. Goh aged, he started having problems with his memory, and one day while cleaning the trophy room he forgot that the shelves had a secret trap to ward off thieves. He accidentally picked up a statue, and was suddenly hit by a poison dart, causing him to fall to the floor and die a slow and painful death.
出口：
EXITS:
到處都是蜘蛛網，但沒有蜘蛛。三位酸沼木乃伊正在用寶藏賭博。
Cobwebs everywhere, but no spiders. 3 BOG MUMMIES gamble with a pile of TREASURE.
酸沼木乃伊：從奧斯塔拉被俘的不死囚犯，代理烏雷巴監視吳先生和新的「戰利品僕人」。他們不靠飲食，反而是靠重述自己被謀殺的故事維持自己的生存，常常喜歡在玩死侍（賭戰利品僕人什麼時候會死亡的遊戲）的時候講這些故事。陣容…
BOG MUMMIES: Undead prisoners captured from Othala, deputized by Urebar to guard Mr. Goh and the new “trophy servants.” They don't rely on food or drink, but instead on retelling stories of how they got murdered for sustenance, which they enjoy repeating over games of dead pool (in which they bet how long it will take for trophy servants to die). The lineup...
寶藏：5000 冥幣。
TREASURE: 5000 hell coins.
出口：
EXITS:
肢刑架在破裂的天花板之下變得更朽爛。四位快餓死的吸血鬼正在舉行令人毛骨悚然地的辯論。一個坐在黑箱上，旁邊有個操縱桿。另一個躺在巨大的寶藏堆上。
TORTURE RACKS rot under a fractured ceiling. 4 starving VAMPIRES engage in morbid debate. One sits on a BLACK BOX by a LEVER. Another lies in a massive pile of TREASURE.
肢刑架：有兩個。看起來很像梯子。
TORTURE RACKS: Two of them. They look a lot like ladders.
吸血鬼：年輕的巫師群，為了逃離三塗城的神廟幫發誓當烏雷巴的傭人。他們負責監視甲號牢房的囚犯。戰利品僕人負責給他們血喝。當戰利品僕人過了很久都沒回來的話，吸血鬼們會開始討論誰要先當犧牲來餵養其他的人。陣容…
VAMPIRES: A young coven that pledged service to Urebar in exchange for escape from the temple-gangs of Santu City. They are responsible for guarding the prisoners in Cell A. Trophy servants are responsible for giving them blood to drink. When a trophy servant doesn't return after a long time, the vampires start discussing who should be sacrificed first to feed the other people. The lineup...
黑箱：用黑耀晶做的。裡頭有修肢刑架的材料。
BLACK BOX: Made of blackbright. Contains materials to repair the torture racks.
操縱桿：操縱地下城之中所有活板門的開關。
LEVER: Controls the opening and closing of all trapdoors in the dungeon.
寶藏：12,500 冥幣。
TREASURE: 12,500 hell coins.
出口：
EXITS:
發光的蘑菇長在銀池的旁邊。
GLOWING MUSHROOMS grow near a SILVER POOL.
發光的蘑菇：希望跟大家分享他們的幻想。這是它們交流的方式。菜單…
GLOWING MUSHROOMS: Wish to share their visions with everybody. This is their form of communion. The menu...
銀池：其實是鋼鐵史萊姆，正在享受幻想所以不想被打擾。被踩到會生氣，被亂喝會超級生氣。如果你故意惹史萊姆麻煩的話，蘑菇會用毒氣殺傷你。
SILVER POOL: Actually a steel slime, wishing to be left alone to enjoy its visions. Gets annoyed if stepped on, gets extremely annoyed if you try to drink it. If you deliberate antagonize the slime, the mushrooms will gas you.
出口：
EXITS:
即興的舒緩燈光秀，來自鍍銀天花板上發光的蘑菇。
Spontaneous soothing light shows come from GLOWING MUSHROOMS on the SILVERED CEILING.
發光的蘑菇：不小心被一位戰利品僕人帶回地下城。他們在這裡吃上層的神光能。
GLOWING MUSHROOMS: Accidentally brought back to the dungeon by a trophy servant. They're here to eat the spark energy on the upper level.
鍍銀天花板：所謂把蘑菇帶進來的戰利品僕人。其實不是個體，而是一大群的鋼鐵史萊姆，因為有一天在玩耍的時候模仿人形被烏雷巴好奇地「收集起來」。吳先生發覺他們只能在過分壓力之下才會聽話，而且受太多壓力之後會死掉，變成永遠凝固的狀態。在這個地下城之中，所有被鋼鐵製造的東西都是活鋼史萊姆的屍體。因此這個史萊姆群害怕跟別人接觸，寧願待在蘑菇的保護之下。
SILVERED CEILING: The so-called trophy servant who brought all the mushrooms here. Not actually an individual but a collective of steel slimes, who were playing at mimicking humanoids one day when they were “collected” by Urebar out of curiosity. Mr. Goh discovered that they only obey under excessive pressure, and too much pressure will kill them, leaving them in a permanently solidified state. In this dungeon, everything made from steel is the corpse of a living steel slime. Hence this slime collective is afraid of interacting with others, and prefers to remain under the mushrooms' protection.
出口：
EXITS:
A tunnel surrounded by BLACK WALLS with a ramp leading up towards the east.
被黑牆包圍的隧道，斜坡往上到東邊。
黑牆：用黑耀晶做的。有發光的電路板花紋，會輪流換不同顏色。順序是藍、紅、黃。
BLACK WALLS: Made of blackbright. Has glowing circuit board patterns that cycle through different colors. The order is blue, then red, then yellow.
出口：
外面是冰風雪地。你目前的衣服不適合這種天氣。
Outside is a land of ice and snow. You are not dressed appropriately for the weather.
不常見詞語的說明。
Explanations for uncommon terms.
深涯妖精：住在地下洞穴或深海之中的妖精。
ABYSS ELF: Elves that live in subterranean caves or the deep sea.
黑耀晶：長得像黑曜岩的魔法水晶。幾乎難以銷毀。常見的模式是吸收附近生命能量的尖塔。
BLACKBRIGHT: A magic crystal that looks like obsidian. Virtually indestructible. Commonly occurs in the form of spires absorbing life energy from their surroundings.
轉移：路線、目的、注意力的改變（也就是冒險）。
DIVERSION: A detour of itinerary, of purpose, of attention (in other words, an adventure).
冥幣：硬幣版的紙錢。「給活人冥鈔往往視為死亡詛咒或恐嚇」（維基百科）。
HELL COINS: Coin versions of joss paper money. “The act of giving a living person hell bank notes is considered a great insult in Chinese culture and may even be seen as a death threat” (Wikipedia).
活鋼：一種能按照使用者的意志力在液體跟固體狀態中轉換的魔法金屬。自然的狀態是史萊姆。見《破裂疆》。
LIVING STEEL: A magic metal that can alternate between liquid and solid states according to the will of its user. Its natural form is a slime. See Fractured Frontier.
昉橙珠：跟早晨一樣橘的珍珠。適合用來做發光的神器。
MORNING PEARL: A pearl that is as orange as morning light. Suited for making artifacts that glow.
天妖：來自萬敵界被強迫變成人形的山脈。他們的皮膚跟天色一樣有多種，眼睛跟星一樣明或夜一樣黑。據說他們能在封閉空間無翅飛翔，也能履險如夷地睜眼說瞎話。見《下世萬敵》。
SKYFIENDS: Mountains that were forced to become humanoid from Bantik Kai. Their skin comes in as many colors as the sky, and their eyes are as bright as stars or as dark as night. Rumor has it they can fly without wings in closed spaces, and can lie through their teeth without breaking a sweat under pressure. See Future Only Enemies.
神光能：宇宙每一個生物都擁有的生命能量。耐核系統主要使用的超自然能量資源。見《破裂疆》。
SPARK ENERGY: Life energy that every living entity possesses in the universe. Supernatural energy resource primarily used in the Nai'oh System. See Fractured Frontier.
from nrg
Hope you're all ready to discuss chapter 3 (And the previous ones as well for those newcomers). We will meet at 5:30PST on November 25th at the regular link. Talk to ya soon!
from 異軌與地下城 Dungeons & Détournement
還在英語獨立 TRPG 圈子的時候，我常常看見人家問：「你建議 TRPG 設計者該讀什麼文獻？」雖然有很多普通的政治文獻可以推薦，我是從來沒看過專門為了桌上角色扮演遊戲設計和遊玩寫的政治文獻。所以我就寫了一個。是我當初開始接觸 TRPG 的時候希望擁有的資源。
When I was still in the Anglosphere indie TRPG scene, I'd often see people asking: “What text would you recommend tabletop game designers to read?” Although there are a lot of normal political texts you could recommend, I had never seen any political texts specifically written for tabletop roleplaying games. So I wrote one. It's the resource I wish I had back when I first started engaging with TRPGs.